Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Organising the perfect party, or in which the Age is annoying

The Age is running this article on how to organise the perfect party. I like to hear about people having a nice time, so I clicked on the linkie (despite the b00bies in the picture which pissed me off, because the article is not titled, 'how to show a lady's b00bies for no good reason', but if I got angry every time the Age had a pointless b00bie picture I'd be angry all the time. Oh I am angry all the time about that. The Age, you should do better). Anyway, the article is actually about how to buy boring matching plates and taking your boring plates to the florist so you can get matching boring flowers. That you pay lots of money for, I guess. Apparently if anyone gets the odd plate it will Ruin Their Night.

All I can say is that Age lifestyle journalists must be attending and hosting very boring parties these days, and if you get invited to a party by an Age lifestyle journalist I would suggest you politely decline.

If I was organising a perfect party this is what I would like:
  • guests who are funny and a little bit competitive but not too competitive, so you can have plenty of amusing anecdotes flying but everyone gets to finish their sentences
  • outdoorsyness
  • food with protein in it
  • lots of water available (either for drinking when thirsty or for using in waterpistols)
  • children who can entertain themselves in the backyard
  • grownups who can entertain themselves in the backyard
  • icypoles
  • music that comes on vinyl with things like 'Brazil' and '66' on the cover. But not including Bob Dylan and 66 (unless the party has already been going for a very long time and is nearly over)
  • fruit
  • people who like to sing along (but not competitively for this, please). People who like to sing the Love Boat theme are particularly welcome)
  • Parlour Games available if needed, with a suitable number of guests willing to play parlour games and be quite competitive indeed
  • a friendly and very old neighbour who enjoys a party
  • a jazz band
  • diverse beverages
  • things that the guests enjoy eating, drinking and doing.
See, tableware just doesn't really come into it.


Shayne Parkinson said...

I'd like to come to your party, please. It sounds wonderful.

Penthe said...

Yes, you should definitely be there to make it perfect.

cristy said...

Can I come too?

Melissa said...

Yeah. Me too. I'm not particularly good at anecdotes but I laugh a lot at others anecdotes, which I think just encourages them to say more.

Fickle Cattle said...

For a kickass party, I only need three things:

1) great people with great chemistry together;

2) good food;

3) alcohol.

Anything more is really just gravy.


Misrule said...

I was thinking I wanted to come to that party, too, then I realised I know own a house and I can throw that party. Wanna come?

Vera said...

I promise to sing the theme to Love Boat LIKE A BOSS if I come to your party.

Penthe said...

You can all come to my party. Howsabout next week?

claire said...

Your party sounds awesome, yay! So much better than matching floral arrangements.