Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A Crapology, the 15 minutes of sanity sleep and why I need a break from Radio National

Hello all. Yes, that is your outrage-o-meter beeping loudly. I am a walking talking outrage generator right now. I am the Three Mile Island of Outrage and you do not want your puppies, children or teeth anywhere near me right now.

'And what are you so outraged about, young woman?' I hear you say (now that the beeping has thankfully ceased). And I answers you, EVERYTHING AaaaAAAaaaAArgh! Because things are not fair and people who have nearly everything including a whopping great massive Sense of Entitlement think that it's not fair if someone else gets something, even if the someone else has less than nothing compared to Old Mr Entitlement over there. 'It's not fair' whines Mr Entitlement, sucking up three quarters of the world's resources, 'that person is getting something I haven't got, give me one'.

I say to you, Mr Entitlement, you bloated, selfish, ignorant pig, with your clean water, education, decent food at a reasonable price, surplus wages, tax cuts, middle-class welfare and your goddam Giant Cup of Privilege NOW WITH EXTRA PRIVILEGE!!!!! shut up shut up shut up shut up until infinity. When you share your goddam entitlements and benefits and ignorant unthinking piggish greediguts surplus with other people, then maybe you can talk about what other people might have that you don't have, eh?

Two points. One, I was woken up a little early this morning by a spider falling on my head and I realised (quite separately from my spider anxiety) that the last few minutes of expected sleep is the disputed border land between a calm, sane, pleasant existence and something resembling insane rage. Two, despite the general intelligence and interest of Radio National's morning programming, I need a break from hearing about things that Drive Me Up the Wall in the mornings, so it's back to Classic FM for me for a while.

Also, 'I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt' is a crapology, not an apology.

Otherwise, very well, thanks for asking.


Roger Parkinson said...

What happened to 'if you don't have anything nice to say...?'
Still, a spider falling on your head would tip anyone over the edge. Was it a big spider?

Ampersand Duck said...

That was such a snortology. I'm not sure how I'll get this liquid out of my nose...

Penthe said...

Roger, I was conscious of my hypocrisy, indeed. I figured you could all work it out for yourselves, though.